Have yourself a scary little Christmas at The All-Nite Scream-O-Rama Holiday Horror Show, featuring 12 straight hours of the most ho-ho-horrifying Christmas-themed tales of terror ever to escape from the North Pole! Santa’s been awfully naughty this year, and he’s hand delivering SEVEN twisted tales of yuletide mayhem and candy cane carnage that are guaranteed to make this a “Fright Christmas” for one and all!
Featuring: Vintage X-mas horror flick trailers! Scary holiday shorts! Disgustingly delicious Dead Nog drink specials! Repulsive giveaways before each movie! Barf Bags for all chickens with weak stomachs! Come in your pajamas and bring your favorite pillow, since you won't be leaving until the sun comes up and the elves go home … in body bags!
*Start times are approximate*
9:00pm: BLACK CHRISTMAS
This genuinely creepy ‘70s yuletide fright flick tells the heartwarming tale of a house full of college sorority sisters being menaced by a heavy-breathing psychopath over Christmas vacation. While chances are good that the young women’s holiday wish lists did not include obscene phone calls, dead house mothers and weird sounds in the attic, that’s EXACLTY what they’re getting for Christmas this year! Directed for maximum suspense by Canadian filmmaker Bob Clark (who later went on to direct that other holiday classic, A Christmas Story), and co-starring Margot Kidder (Lois Lane in the Superman movies), Black Christmas is a real seasonal scream. (Dir. by Bob Clark, 1974, Canada, 98 min., Rated R) 35mm
11:00pm: SANTA’S SLAY
If you’ve been dying to see a professional wrestler play a demonic killer Santa Claus, then look no further than Santa’s Slay, a carnage-filled Christmas delight. In this goofy, gory black comedy/horror flick, WWE star Bill Goldberg kills as the “real” Santa , the one who is actually Satan’s deadly son … you know, the one who attacks strip clubs just for laughs, hurls exploding presents from his sleigh and murders annoying Christmas carolers. Like Bad Santa with blood and guts, Santa’s Slay just might be your new favorite Christmas movie! (Dir. by David Steiman, 2005, USA, 78 min., Rated R) Digital
12:30am: SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT
In this infamous cult Christmas shocker that offended protesting parents and the morally uptight, a little cherub named Billy watches as a psycho Santa murders his parents on Christmas Eve, so naturally he grows up to become a department-store Santa Claus who goes on an axe-whacking rampage while, you guessed it, still dressed in his Santa garb. Filled with such wondrous holiday gifts as death by Christmas lights, toboggan sled decapitation and evil nuns on the rampage, Silent Night, Deadly Night kicked off a five film franchise that pretty much guaranteed Peace on Earth and Good Will to Men. (Dir. by Charles E. Sellier Jr., 1984, USA, 85 min., rated R) 35mm
They may be cute and cuddly when they’re dry, but when these friendly fur balls get wet, an idyllic small town is about to be overrun by mischievous, rampaging puppets with sharp teeth and a serious lack of Christmas spirit. Director Joe Dante’s wildly popular kids movie that really isn’t all that appropriate for kids is full of frightening fun AND it also features a young Phoebe Cates sharing one of the all-time ghastliest Christmas tales ever told. Enjoy, kiddies! (Dir. by Joe Dante, 1984, USA, 106 min., rated PG) Digital
4:00am: DON’T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS
A grinchy maniac is bumping off people who are dressed as Santa Claus in particularly nasty ways in this sleazy ‘80s British slasher flick. With fourteen dead Santa Clauses already littering the streets of London and only three killing days left until Christmas, the police are baffled as the horrific death toll continues to rise. Will anyone with a flowing white beard and red pajamas be safe this Christmas season? Chock full of blood, sex, gratuitous nudity and lots of unintentional laughs (not to mention a weird disco production number performed by ‘80s Scream Queen Caroline Munro, star of Maniac), Don’t Open Till Christmas is a gruesome holiday treat from our friends across the pond! (Dir. by Edmund Purdom, 1984, UK, 86 mins., Rated R)
5:30am: JACK FROST
When a notorious murderer is killed in car crash on the way to his execution the week before Christmas, his snow-covered body is genetically mutated (don’t ask how) into a killer snowman hell-bent for revenge against the small town sheriff who sent him to jail. Unfortunately, the entire population of Snowmonton stands in his way, and soon the town residents are under attack by this frightening frosty freak with the cold, cold heart. This jaw-droppingly ridiculous horror comedy has one of the most absurd movie premises EVER, and it’s not afraid to take it to the limit. Just watch out for that corncob pipe! (Dir. by Michael Cooney, 1997, USA, 89 mins., Rated R) Digital
7:00am: CHRISTMAS EVIL
Dubbed “The Greatest Christmas Movie Ever Made” by John Waters, Christmas Evil follows the adventures of Christmas-obsessed toy maker Harry Stadling, who wants to turn himself into the “real” Santa and teach all the naysayers who mock him that Christmas is indeed the most wonderful time of the year. Harry’s having a tough time, though, and he really wants people to get the presents they deserve, even if that means giving the gift of murder! Cynics and uptight hypocrites beware! An incredibly odd, hilarious and downright disturbing seasonal scare flick, Christmas Evil is a sadistic holiday chestnut in which Taxi Driver finally meets It’s a Wonderful Life. (Dir. by Lewis Jackson, 1980, USA, 100 min., Rated R) Digital