Part of the Mondo Mondays series. Get ready for weird, wild and wonderful flicks from the mondo side of the silver screen! Every Monday at 8:00pm!
July is Animals Gone Wild month at Mondo Mondays, featuring an army of angry critters with an unending appetite for destruction!
“It’s just too stupid for words … this silly variant of Hitchcock’s The Birds might frighten small children or drunks, but nobody else.” – Weird Wild Realm
“Don't Pet Them ... Fear Them!”
It’s a blood-drenched Best in Show when a pack of murderous mutts terrorize a small college town in this ridiculous ‘70s shocker that begs the haunting question: Who let the dogs out? Perhaps one of the silliest and least-frightening bastard children of Jaws, the 1976 canine crud-fest Dogs (which was probably pitched as “Jaws with Paws”) stars embarrassed/drunk-looking British thespian David McCallum (star of the legendary ’60 television spy show The Man from UNCLE.) as a bitter biologist who moonlights as an alcoholic. One day, our permanently soused hero is rudely awakened from his stupor by a string of mysterious dog-related killings around the campus of his small Southwestern University. The unfortunate thing about this killing spree, at least for the town’s humans, is that the victims are not the dogs, but their owners! What the hell is going on? Why are all of the dogs in the area, once loyal, gentle pets, now banding together in wild packs and turning their masters into bloody kibbles and bits? Could the strange transformation have anything to do with the secret government experiments being conducted in the school’s physics lab? And more importantly, can the dogs be stopped before it’s too late (or before a mean old lady tells them to “get off my lawn!” and she gets a big ol’ can of “dog whoop ass” right in the kisser)? If the sight of cute, seemingly harmless mutts playfully rolling around with screaming victims who somehow end up drenched in blood doesn’t chill you to the bone, how about an implausible Psycho-inspired dog attack on a naked lady in a shower (said naked lady being played by Linda Gray, who later went on to TV stardom as Sue Ellen Ewing on the hit nighttime soap Dallas)? Still not scared? Then try a hilariously overwrought “killer dogs vs. dopey college students” battle royale in the school library (complete with mass panic, goofy “doggie POV shots” and geysers of blood), or a supposedly nightmarish final scene which paved the way for a sure-to-be-sensational sequel that sadly never materialized. A gloriously straight-faced “animals gone wild” flick that never seems to realize how deeply absurd it really is, Dogs is a kennel full of bad movie fun. (Dir. by Burt Brinckerhoff, 1976, USA, 90 mins., Rated R) Digital